THE APT DEFINITION

THE APT DEFINITION

My face turned from pale red to lush white when my eyes read the lines from the book, my agile hands were holding, “Love is something that we living beings have been blessed with” , “blessed with”…..really?! . A thought crossed my brain, not a positive one though. My hands frantically searched for a pen beside me, on finding one I circled the lines with raven black ink and gawked at ti for minutes together without realizing the ticking time.

I was thinking about a specific definition for love. A definition that would be perfect for it .And the one which dropped into my mind was, A shortcut to Hell! I whispered to myself, on hearing which my lips smirked. Resting my chin on ym palm and dangling my legs in rhythm, my gaze ran straight to the books on my shelf, which have different love stories to tell; they were bored and sleeping cozily with a thick blanket of dust on them. Their loud snores made me yawn too. By the time I had finished my yawning, the definition for Love had started knocking at the door of my thoughts again. And I, as usual willingly opened the door and let the thoughts of definition crowd my little but quite spacious skull.

                                         I was lost in the desert of thoughts when I reached an oasis of realization which splashed water on my mind so that my thought-sight could search better and faster. And there was the answer to my just ended search on a half eaten bright green Money plant leaf which was leisurely taking a walk across the little water body. I leaped into the water and picked the leaf up into my cupped palms and read the yellow tinged answer engraved on it “ There is no proper definition found for Love till date and so it is for Psychology . So, love is nothing else but Psycho”  ……..tears raced down both ends of my eyes and my stomach was crunched when I burst out with laughter at my very own definition and conclusion. I laughed and laughed  till I ran out of breathe and relaxed to catch it . Then I heard silence noisily entering my room and deciding to stay for sometime and I in turn wore my adjusting suit on but it literally drove me crazy as it grew ear splittingly loud and was drilling into my brains. I had to throw it out, had to do something with it. I lay on my back and gazed at the square ceiling above me, struggling internally to win over.

                                              I was shocked to see my mind caressing the thoughts of love in its lap again. So, I drove my thoughts toward that and decided to go for a long drive this time. I had neither a map nor a compass or road directions about where was this leading me to but I knew somewhere where everyone wishes to go with a special one. But I was driving all alone…… but who cares?! Till the time you are driving and having the fun of driving all through up and down the hill, in and out the tunnel, listening to Nucleya or Gulam Ali…….every damn thing is your choice at the end of the day. Driving continuously after quite sometime I reached an abyss and I exactly knew which place that was. It was the very place that every story book took me to and said “Love is like a web, an abyss in which we all fall not by choice but by mistake”………..IS IT?! I doubt it!. But the lines that “Not by choice but by mistake” sounds pretty true, accurately said by whoever that is. People fall into that well and become Alice in Wonderland which most of us are not sentient of but originally is a horror and not a slimy “Once apon a time…….happily ever after” story.

                                                        But wait!  Things don’t just sum up there, there’z more to it. You fall hard I mean really HARD for your pelvic bone to actually handle. Thankfully nothing much happens, only petty things like a cardiac arrest, reduction in cognitive processes, difficulty in stretching lips and performing activities like smiling, loss of focus, depression becomes an hour in your daily schedule etc etc  ETC . These are the minute things that happen when one falls into that well, which has the most enchanting look ever and attracts the shit out of you and makes you damn thirsty even when you are not. On peeping inside you can never see the end and it’s completely murky in there for the human eye to see. You can hear water in there which sounds like pearls falling on the floor. You crook more in order to see better. When you are utterly busy in search of the elixir you sense something on your back, you can feel a chill run down your spine and the whole effect is so numbing. You turn and realize that you have been struck by a bow. A brown bow wearing a rust coat, has rushed half way piercing through your flesh however, you can’t feel any twinge or see the red liquid surging out. It’s weird! , it’s strange! ,its magical! , it’s haunting!

                                            I somehow gathered the left over energy and turned. There it was! Hovering in the air , it looked like an early man’s baby as it had no clothes on, a pair of wings too and of course the bow and arrow which it had shot at me . Groaning in pain I felt myself to be fluky enough to see the devil even while I was on Earth. I could not balance my body anymore and I fell! Down, down into the well . The whole experience felt like travelling to the centre of the Earth.

                                                           I had no clue what was happening to me, where was it taking me to, where was the end, whether I would be alive or not…….? So on, several questions but no answers. There was no limit to it ,I kept falling deeper and deeper . The way was dark, scary, and what not.

                                                          My never ending journey to the end of the well was disrupted by the sudden bang of the window. I shuddered at the sudden thud . The mood of the room had changed from sleepy to hyper in the quest of the apt definition along with me, the blinds seem to quarrel with each other about the right definition, the fan rotated and looked in every direction wherever possible but alas! There was no answer as yet . I tossed and turned in the quill and shook my head in repentance about where had the whole thing taken me to, it took me nowhere but surely to the superlative degree of madness.

The lines from the romantic books were boogie woogieing  in front of my eyes “Love is like a rainbow, its colourful and makes people smile” but never said that once those colours fall on you , you get late to college and it spoils your favourite attire too. “Love is like an ocean, its deep and mesmerizing” but never brings to your notice to learn swimming and then give a dive cause, once you start drowning even the life guards can’t reach to your rescue. “Love is like the sun, gives you strength , it shines and its warm” but forgets to mention about love in 45 degrees heat which is not warm but melting, it will not shine but will give you sun burns , It’ll mislead you by creating mirage make you visibly challenged. “Love is rain, it’s calm and refreshing”. Oh yeah?! And who the hell will talk about the crystal clear puddles? and the way it is known to make anyone look like the Hundred and second Dalmatian with brown spots all across your body.

The way it turns a whole lively atmosphere into shades of grey and dullness and the how tactfully it ruins your date by making your umbrella fly on the opposite side and you running behind it as fast as you can screaming the lines in your head  “It’s for freaking thousand and nine bucks, Dad’z gonna deduct it from my pocket money. I just can’t let it go!”

                                                       My lips seem to agree with my wild thoughts and smiled in support. The sweet slumbers of my books in my shelf were inviting me, I heard the moon calling out to me from behind the clouds to play siesta, peek- a- boo, my blankie grew warmer and cuddled me in its arms and my eye lids felt heavy as sleep had landed on it and I decided to board the flight and go on the quest of the apt definition some other day again.

           Shivangee Dasgupta

 

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